Saturday, 2 November 2013

Mood swings

I thought it was appropriate to write this post today, given the mood I find myself in!!

Since falling pregnant it's a slight understatement to say that my hormones have been a bit all over the place. Being completely honest (as I always try to be) I will say that I've always been a bit on the moody side. 

As a teenager, I think I could be described as a bit of a nightmare shouting at my parents (I imagine unfairly) on more than one occasion. 

Whilst I am better these days (now that I'm a 'grown up'), stress of any kind tends to bring out the worst in me... (the months leading up to the wedding were a particularly dark time!!)

Don't get me wrong, I do have a sunny disposition and am generally a positive person it's just the odd occasion where I flip!! Pregnancy has most definitely amplified this resulting in a lot more 'emotion' (also know as tears!)

The smallest things can set me off and I sometimes done even known what has caused the flowing tears or bubbling anger.

Thursday night was a prime example. Our long awaited bed was being delivered. After two weeks on a camp bed (I know it 'could be a lot worse') I was desperate for the big day to arrive. It's bad enough that I'm a bad sleeper, but the springy, tiny camp bed has kept the Hubs awake all night too, so any time when I did nod off, I was swiftly awoken by a fidgety frustrated Hubs.

First thing Thursday morning I sprung out of bed excited. That was it, no more nights sleeping in that awful contraption!! 

As I packed away all the bedding and watching the Hubs pack away our bed for the last few weeks I was bursting with excitement. 

Our electrician is working in the house at the moment and was briefed to let the bed people in and show them upstairs to put the new bed together.

Off we went to work, happy as Larry. As I left work that day, my Mum called to tell me that she'd popped into the house to check up on things for us. She then told me (nervously!) that the bed was in the garage, boxed up as the electrician had not let them take it upstairs. He was working in our bedroom and is on a tight deadline so prioritised his work over theirs (I bet the bed people were thrilled!!!)

I don't think even I could have anticipated my reaction to this news. There I was, standing in St Pancras Station crying. Crying over a bed. Dramatic as it sounds. This was it. I'd has enough. 

Two weeks living amongst mess and dust with all our possessions boxed up, sleeping on that horrific contraption had broken me.  

I called the (un-expecting) Hubs in hysterics. When I finally got my words out, he tried to calm me down, 'we can go stay at your parents until I get one of the boys round to help me put the bed together?' he said. Whilst this was a perfectly good suggestion I was having none of it.

Over the course of the next hour, I sat on the platform waiting for my train (delays... great) in a black hole. I was so down and so out of control. 

When I finally got on a train, and pulled out of the tunnel the reception on my phone came back. Instead
of calling the Hubs, or my parents to inevitably moan and sob, I blogged. I blogged about something completely separate to the current situation, and it totally calmed me down.

20 minutes later, I pulled into my station and got off the train. The Hubs was waiting there for me. He'd sprinted to the station to try and catch me, but some how had managed to get on the train before me so had waited in the cold at the station for me. 

When we got home, he went upstairs and made the bed. He told me to go and have a bath and relax. An hour later it was done and I was overwhelmingly happy.

That night, I had a glorious nights sleep.

What have I learned from this incident? Aside from the fact that sometimes I can't even reason with myself, pregnancy has brought all my emotions to the surface!

I'm up one minute, down the next but at least I know it's happening (this sort of helps!) 

Taking yourself out of a situation (like when I blogged on the train) does help, but ultimately it is all part of pregnancy (she says tearing up as Baby J just kicked... What's wrong with me!!!!)

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