Emotions running high… AGAIN

This weekend saw the return of the 'slightly less calm' (understatement!!) version of me!

After a few rather blissful weeks of feeling fabulous emotionally & physically and most certainly looking the best I have for a while... It all went entirely to pot...

Saturday morning I had plans for brunch with one of my closest friend. This particular friend has been in my life since the first day of school and for that reason never fails to bring out the child in me.

There are very few people with whom I entirely relax and be myself; she's definitely one of them. There is (I must say) a third musketeer who evokes the same feelings; she unfortunately had plans this particular Saturday morning.

Anyhow, we were meeting at 11am and I was particularly excited as she was looking after her 10 month old niece, who I have to say is just beautiful.

I was up early (as usual) to get myself ready, wash my hair etc.

Now, I've not mentioned this in any previous blog posts, but I'm particularly terrible with directions. A big part of my problem (I'm ashamed to say) is laziness. I never concentrate when I'm being taken somewhere and if I'm driving I sort of let the Sat Nav do the work... I also (honestly) have zero sense of direction. If it's left, I'll 100% "trust my gut" and go right!

My friend was at her mum and dad's house for the weekend, I've of course been to this house many times in the past, however not in the last decade & not from my new country location.

So, before I left I asked the Hubs (as I was running late, despite being up at the crack of dawn) to plug the address into the Sat Nav. I read out the address and he did as directed (or so I thought)

As he kissed me goodbye he said "don't forget to put petrol in the car". The night before we'd been for a lovely dinner at his Aunts house and apparently the petrol light had come on during the journey home.

Off I went. Smiles beaming.

As I pulled up to the petrol station I noticed it was closed, a little annoying but I thought nothing of it. There would of course be another one very soon.

The Sat Nav was showing that the journey would take 30 mins. This was very much in line with how long I thought it was going to take, so again I thought nothing of it.

It's also worth mentioning here that our Sat Nav is quite zoomed in so you only see the next few steps, you don't see the end point (error!)

Fifteen minutes later I was in quite unfamiliar surrounding... After going round down a number of backstreets I found myself on rather a large road. As I've already mentioned, I'm new to my current area so couldn't really tell if something was up or not….

 

I had already started to panic at this stage though... Not entirely about my location, more about the lack of petrol in the car. Since leaving the house and passing the closed petrol station, I had not passed another, and the tank was dangerously close to empty.

Now this is where some might question my intelligence. The Sat Nav (who I always listen to) was telling me that at the next roundabout I should turn right and join the motorway... I'm not gonna lie, something didn't feel right considering there is no motorway I could think of that linked my house to my friends parents house.

So, there I was.

 On the motorway.

Clearly going the wrong way with zero petrol.

The next road sign was where I clocked what had happened...

The first exit, which was 3/4 miles away (no, there wasn’t a service station between getting on and the first exit) was where I really started to realise what may have happened, as the name of the location was pretty familiar to me.

As I turned off, in a state of pure panic and fury it all became clear. It was HIS fault.

He'd clearly accidentally pressed the wrong button and told the Sat Nav to take me to the last place it took me too, my friends house who lives half an hour away from us in the opposite direction of where I needed to be.

It was this point I called him.

I'm not going to say I was in anyway my usually lovely self.

No petrol.

In the middle of no where (I’ve only been here a few times and never alone)

Late to meet my friend, and an hour away from her.

I wasn't pleasant.

I also was not at all calm.

He obviously didn't mean for this to happen, nor could he understand how it did happen.

In my mind, I didn't care how. It had happened and it was his fault.

For future reference, nothing annoys me more than being told to calm down when I'm clearly not calm. I'd of thought he'd know this by now. Clearly not. After a good few minutes of shouting (me, not him) he was off the phone after telling me not to move.

Whilst my concern was my friend and how late he had made me to meet her, his (quite rightly so) was the dangerously low amount of fuel in the car.

A few short minutes later he called back. I hadn't calmed at all by this point, in case you were wondering, oh no, I was quite as frantic as ever (poor Baby J)

When back on the phone he slowly and calmly directed me down a few country lanes to a petrol station.

Without saying thank you (I was still raging) I hung up, filled up and purchased an oversized bar of Dairy Milk (very unlike me!!!)

I then sat at the side of the road and ate the entire thing. I started to feel calmer and a little embarrassed.

I plugged in the correct address and the Sat Nav showed me the way. It was going to take an hour.

I text my friend and apologised profusely. She was fine about the delay; she just wanted to know where I'd ended up. I ignored her questions as it was just ‘too soon’ (I know how melodramatic I sound) knowing that at brunch (well lunch) I'd be 'ready' to talk about it.

Ten minutes later, I was back on the motorway heading in the right direction.

At this point I called the Hubs... (hands free) to apologise.

He's such a sweetie and wasn't angry in the slightest at my vile behaviour.

He was relieved I was now calm (he was also thrilled that the car was full of petrol and that he wasn't going to have to sort out a tow!)

Eventually I arrived at the gorgeous little café, ‘The Dolls House on the Hill’, it’s such a cute little place which happened to be Suzanne Neville’s shop in a former life (I love Suzanne Neville as she made my gorgeous wedding gown)

After running to the loo (an hour and a half with no toilet break is quite distressing for a pregnant lady!) I sat down and told her the story (minus the oversized Dairy Milk), which she of course found hilarious.

A couple of hours later, I was on my way back home. Calm, happy, full of baby love (her niece really is stunning) and jacket potato.

I know it is silly to get so stressed over things like this, but I can’t say I’ve learned anything from it. I may have over-reacted and I may have not used my brain ‘that’ much but it wasn’t really my fault!!

I will say this though, I read online (not sure if this is true) that at 6 months the baby starts to pick up on my emotions. Well, I’m 6 months today so hopefully he was spared my feelings this weekend, but I do in general need to chill out a little.

I do find that my emotions are heightened (to say the least) at the moment, and I do need to get a grip sometimes…. It’s tough though! I suppose it is good that I am at least aware of it so I can try and have a little talking to myself next time I am about to explode!!!

Mood swings

I thought it was appropriate to write this post today, given the mood I find myself in!!

Since falling pregnant it's a slight understatement to say that my hormones have been a bit all over the place. Being completely honest (as I always try to be) I will say that I've always been a bit on the moody side. 

As a teenager, I think I could be described as a bit of a nightmare shouting at my parents (I imagine unfairly) on more than one occasion. 

Whilst I am better these days (now that I'm a 'grown up'), stress of any kind tends to bring out the worst in me... (the months leading up to the wedding were a particularly dark time!!)

Don't get me wrong, I do have a sunny disposition and am generally a positive person it's just the odd occasion where I flip!! Pregnancy has most definitely amplified this resulting in a lot more 'emotion' (also know as tears!)

The smallest things can set me off and I sometimes done even known what has caused the flowing tears or bubbling anger.

Thursday night was a prime example. Our long awaited bed was being delivered. After two weeks on a camp bed (I know it 'could be a lot worse') I was desperate for the big day to arrive. It's bad enough that I'm a bad sleeper, but the springy, tiny camp bed has kept the Hubs awake all night too, so any time when I did nod off, I was swiftly awoken by a fidgety frustrated Hubs.

First thing Thursday morning I sprung out of bed excited. That was it, no more nights sleeping in that awful contraption!! 

As I packed away all the bedding and watching the Hubs pack away our bed for the last few weeks I was bursting with excitement. 

Our electrician is working in the house at the moment and was briefed to let the bed people in and show them upstairs to put the new bed together.

Off we went to work, happy as Larry. As I left work that day, my Mum called to tell me that she'd popped into the house to check up on things for us. She then told me (nervously!) that the bed was in the garage, boxed up as the electrician had not let them take it upstairs. He was working in our bedroom and is on a tight deadline so prioritised his work over theirs (I bet the bed people were thrilled!!!)

I don't think even I could have anticipated my reaction to this news. There I was, standing in St Pancras Station crying. Crying over a bed. Dramatic as it sounds. This was it. I'd has enough. 

Two weeks living amongst mess and dust with all our possessions boxed up, sleeping on that horrific contraption had broken me.  

I called the (un-expecting) Hubs in hysterics. When I finally got my words out, he tried to calm me down, 'we can go stay at your parents until I get one of the boys round to help me put the bed together?' he said. Whilst this was a perfectly good suggestion I was having none of it.

Over the course of the next hour, I sat on the platform waiting for my train (delays... great) in a black hole. I was so down and so out of control. 

When I finally got on a train, and pulled out of the tunnel the reception on my phone came back. Instead

of calling the Hubs, or my parents to inevitably moan and sob, I blogged. I blogged about something completely separate to the current situation, and it totally calmed me down.

20 minutes later, I pulled into my station and got off the train. The Hubs was waiting there for me. He'd sprinted to the station to try and catch me, but some how had managed to get on the train before me so had waited in the cold at the station for me. 

When we got home, he went upstairs and made the bed. He told me to go and have a bath and relax. An hour later it was done and I was overwhelmingly happy.

That night, I had a glorious nights sleep.

What have I learned from this incident? Aside from the fact that sometimes I can't even reason with myself, pregnancy has brought all my emotions to the surface!

I'm up one minute, down the next but at least I know it's happening (this sort of helps!) 

Taking yourself out of a situation (like when I blogged on the train) does help, but ultimately it is all part of pregnancy (she says tearing up as Baby J just kicked... What's wrong with me!!!!)