Mind your own business!!

First it's "when are you getting engaged? ", then it's "when will you have a baby?", then it's "thinking about number two yet?"

I don't blame people, they are natural questions and often just conversation fillers but I can't help but get a tad frustrated.

Firstly there is the obvious issue, what if we were trying (we're not) and we were having problems. Secondly there is the reality of the situation. Harry is not yet nine months. I am still getting to gripes with him and the immense life change I've encountered. 

Don't get me wrong, conversations are starting to be had between the hubs and I but surely that is where the discussion should start and end? It's nobody's business and I just can't  deal with anyone else asking me!!

The other day I turned round in an angry tone and answered (not true) "we are stopping at one, just so happy as we are" I know it's childish it's just my coping mechanism.

In a previous blog post I ranted about my anger at people asking me "if my baby was ok?" due to the smallness of my bump... I talked about my friend who was asked throughout her pregnancy if she was having twins (obviously she wasn't)

Is it me, or do people need to mind there own business and stop overstepping the mark/putting pressure on us poor folk?! 

I think yes. I've just had enough of it. Anyone else with me??

Maternity leave... day 1

Today was/is my first official day of holiday from work. I say holiday as my official maternity leave doesn't start until January, I am currently using up leftover holiday from this year, but let's face it... in the eyes of the world I am now on maternity leave.

Following Friday's blog post about my last day at work, this weekend was a bit of an odd one. Full of emotion, and unease I made my way to my parents house for supper Friday night. The hubs had his work Christmas party, so I attended dinner alone. My brother and his partner were there which I was excited about. My bro and I are close, and recently he's been rather busy so I've not had the chance to see him or spend any proper time with him. The one problem with being so close is that there are no pleasantries with my brother and I. As much as we're best friends, we drive each other crazy. Now, I don't know if it was just the fact that we had an argument, or it was a combination of that, and my built up emotion from finishing work and the realisation of what's to come... but I got myself into a bit of a hysterical state. This was not aided by the fact that the hubs wasn't by my side to calm me down. So that was the start of the weekend... an epic row with my bro, followed by a dramatic display of hysterics on my part.

Thankfully, the rest of the weekend went rather well. Saturday was spent doing odd jobs and relaxing with the hubs, with a few delightful visitors thrown in for good measure. Saturday night was spent dining at our friends house. They made us a terrific meal, and we got to watch their wedding video. They are newly weds and recently had the most spectacular wedding so it was fab to re-live it with them.

Sunday was spent celebrating a friends birthday with a lot of little ones. This particular group of friends are all a wee bit older than me & the hubs, so already all have one of more kids. It's odd hanging out with them, as so few of our other friends have babies... it's sort of like stepping into the future when we see them. Discussions about nannies, nurseries and other grown up things make the hubs and feel a little out of our depth and very very unprepared for our soon to be future!

This morning was when my new reality hit home. At 6.15am the alarm went off. But it was only the hubs who had to get out of bed...

As I drifted in and out of my slumber I noticed him pottering about getting ready for work. As you know, if you follow this blog, I make breakfast each morning for the hubs. I am the type of person who is awake the second their eyes open, so it wasn't hard for me to get out of bed to prepare him his morning bagel. However, as I stepped out of bed... I looked over to his bed side table and noticed that his bagel and morning cuppa were already sat their, on his night stand patiently waiting to be consumed... whilst most woman would be thrilled by this, I automatically felt a little redundant... not that I'll ever admit it to him!

As he came out the bathroom, showered and ready to tuck into his breaky, he climbed back into bed and we had a chat. Chats in bed with breakfast are usually a custom reserved for the weekends, but this was delightful and something I hope becomes our morning ritual. Once he'd finished, he got up and got ready. He of course didn't think it necessary that I drive him to the station but as I say... when I am up, I am up, and I wanted to take him (a girl has to feel a little needed after all!)

Once I'd dropped him, I hurried home to prepare for my day... and what a day it has been. 

The following has been achieved today...

- 3x washing loads

- 2x loads of washing hung to dry

- 1x washing load dried in dryer

- 1x shower & blow dried hair

- 1x breakfast eaten

- 1x Christmas tree purchased and erected (lights and baubles complete)

- 1x friend and gorgeous baby visited

- 1x food shop complete

- 1x dinner prepared

- 1x house tidied

- 1x bin emptied

- 1x dishwasher emptied & refilled

- 1x X Factor results watched

- 1x romantic movie watched (Sleepless in Seattle)

- 1x blog post (almost) written

- 1x alarm gone off resulting in 1x fuse box being reset 

- 1x copy of Mother & Baby read

Now, I don't know if you're easily impressed (I am), but I am highly impressed with what has been achieved today. I know that this is all new to me, and I am so used to being busy that I am finding things to fill my day... but look how productive I've been!!!

If everyday is like this, my house will be shipshape by Christmas Eve!!!

So far, I have to say, this maternity leave lark is fabulous and I am loving it... I wonder how long it is until I am bored and depressed? 

I give myself a week... 

I will say this though, I've not felt this relaxed (despite being super busy) in quite some time! 

The birth plan

On Tuesday I met with my midwife (Joan) to go through various elements of my pregnancy and check that Baby J is cooking nicely (he is) He also is the right size (relevant if you read Monday's blog post 'BUMP OFF!')

Joan has been a midwife for nineteen years. Before being a midwife she was a nurse, for a decade (where has part of her role she delivered babies) so let's just say 'she's been there and seen it all!'

The Hubs and I quizzed her when we first met (out of genuine curiosity) about how many babies she's delivered... She lost count at forty, which 'in those days' she had to do to qualify! So I'm thinking she's witnessed, and taken part in hundreds, maybe even thousands of births (I like stats like these!!)

She is quite a matter of fact lady who sort of tells it like it is (much like me, so I warmed to her immediately)

Whilst the birth is still some time away (roughly fourteen weeks) she started to ask whether I had thought about it at all and whether I was planning on putting a birth plan together.

In truth, I've not and no, I wasn't planning on it.

I'm not particularly scared (yet) about the whole thing. I'm a pretty level headed person who sees birth as a means to an end, something totally natural that women have been doing across the world since the beginning of time.

I'm also not the earth mother type, so don't see birth as an amazing experience for me and my baby that I need to plan too much or over think.

My view is this: Do what you have to do to get Baby J out as safely, and naturally as possible.

As I have very few friends who have had babies (I'm still quite young) I've never knew that there were so many options for birth!!

It's actually pretty amazing...

- Lights dimmed

- Massage

- Hypnotherapy

- Water birth (with or without the Hubs in the water with you.... Eeeek!!!)

- Epidural

- Skin to skin immediately

- Baby cleaned prior to skin to skin

- Music

- Birthday stool

- Gas & air (that one I knew from 'call the midwife!')

The list is endless!!

When Joan asked me about my birthing plan...  I think I may have been a little quick to dismiss the whole thing (probably out of ignorance), saying something a long the lines of... 'I'll play it by ear' but having done a little research on the subject I think I may need to think again.

Whilst I won't have a proper written birth plan (well I don't think I will), I need to read around the topic to make sure I fully understand what everything on offer is, and what my options at various points are (not to mention what is the best option for Baby J)

Whilst I'd love to go in a little blind (makes it a tad less real) I think I need to grow up and read up for the best of myself and of course, the main man, Baby J.

I suppose it's back to the books for me... if I can find them amongst the mess & boxes! (I REALLY need these workmen to leave already!!!!!)

Finding the perfect pram

This morning at 7am a rather exciting package arrived. Not 'the' package, but a Baby J related one nonetheless.

Let me start by going back in time roughly six weeks. 

After doing a little background research online and in Mother & Baby (they had a good feature in this months mag reviewing a number of different models) I headed to the shops with my Mum for further investigation.

I decided that I'd let the Hubs off until I narrowed down the list a little. 

Remember, I am still new to this as a first time mum to be, and I have to say, the whole thing was a little overwhelming.

My mum is the most practical person I know, also the most caring. Excellent combined attributes for the task at hand.

As we entered the store, we were astounded by the vast array of options. Up until this point, (despite my research), I wasn't fully aware of  the choice available not to mention how expensive these things are!! 

One particular model, housed on a special spinning stand at the front of the store was around the thousand pound mark!!

The shop assistant must have noticed the confused look smacked across both our faces as he made a swift beeline for us!

Well, I can only describe this guy as an actual pram expert!! He knew EVERYTHING and these prams could pretty much do anything.

Want a pram that can handle terrain? Fight off Mosquitos? Transform into a spaceship?? Then there is a model out there for you!!! Sometimes I think these developers forget what country we live in!!! 

After demoing most of the stock in the building to us, (they really are impressive... ) we had narrowed down our criteria.

We decided that the three important things for me were the following, in order:

1. Weight (the lighter the better)

2. Ease (this relates to how easy they are to flat pack)

3. Design (it had to look good and be worthy of Baby J!!!)

After sharing this list with the genius shop assistant he presented us three brands that met my criteria best: the Silver Cross 'Wayfarer Pushchair & Carrycot, the Bugaboo Cameleon and the Baby Jogger by City Mini. 

At this stage, I did have a firm favourite but decided to keep it to myself to be fair to other two models (I can't explain my rationale for this!!) A few days later having fully reported back, I took the Hubs into the store to review. 

This is not the kind of job the Hubs enjoyed, thus the background research and short list! I knew who I was dealing with and had to make this as easy as possible.

On the way to the store I went through the best attributes of each of the three options (despite my efforts, I knew he wasn't really listening... It's not his fault, it's exactly what happens to me when he starts talking about paint types or door fittings!)

In we went, and without realising it I headed straight for my preferred option. I felt like I suddenly did the PR for this product (PR is my 'day job' so it's easy to slip into when I'm passionate about something!), I really had my sales hat on!!

I then took the Hubs round and showed him the other models. After talking him through the three products, he turned to me in and said... 'You know which one you want, it's so obvious! You know you don't really want my opinion' 

You may think this was said with an element of sadness, or anger. 

Absolutely not. 

He knows me too well, and knows that once my mind is made up... its impossible to change. I also imagine that he had bought into my sales pitch and was happy with my selection! 

Today my beautiful pram arrived... It's light, easy to fold up and looks oh so pretty. I just can't wait to unpack it and pretend to wheel Baby J around (we're all little girls at heart) when the house is in order and it's not going to get smashed up by builders!!!

Next on the list: the crib, the changing table, the car seat, the bath and on and on the list goes! My theory is do things one by one to (seemingly) break up the cost!!

And that's before I even start thinking about bottles, clothes and other equipment (that I can't even name as I'm still new to this and haven't got there in my research yet!!!)

I knew there was a reason they gave us nine months!!